1. |
After The War
04:16
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Two brothers married two sisters
Right after the end of the war
Two brothers married two sisters
How many in love? just 3 of the 4
One of the sisters took a look at her mister
And started praying to heaven above
"Oh Heavenly Father, if it ain't too much bother
Please set me free, cuz I ain't in love"
I've got my whole life ahead of me
I aim to make it count
Sweet Baby Jesus, don't you make me do this
But the sky looked on without a sound
Six children later, she couldn't make him hate her
But she finally won, and his heart was broke
He took a lover, then he ran for cover
But the fire was lit, and it was making smoke
I've got my whole life ahead of me
I aim to make it count
Sweet Baby Jesus, don't you make me do this
But the sky looked on without a sound
Out with his brother, drinking his whiskey
Shooting out the street lights, and coming home late
Too drunk to feel the cold shotgun steel
That's the night my grandpa met his fate
Out here in the valley it's nice and peaceful
With flowers blooming and birds that sing
I set my whiskey on grandma's headstone
Thats just the way the cold rope swings
Two brothers married two sisters
Right after the end of the war
Two brothers married two sisters
How many in love? just 3 of the 4
I've got my whole life ahead of me
I aim to make it count
Sweet Baby Jesus, don't you make me do this
But the sky looked on without a sound
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2. |
The Ballad of Kelli Rae
02:15
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I wanna tell you a story
From here in the grave
My old bald head
Is all that they could save
I used to have me a record store
You know it wasn’t half bad
With a vinyl section
The only one our little town had
I was scraping bottom
Grinding the days away
Then it all came crashing down
A girl named Kelli walked in one day
And in walked Kelli Rae…
Well I lost my head over this record
I lost my heart over this song
I lost my way looking for a woman to save me
And now I’m here where I don’t belong
I said Hey Kelli Jo!
I said Hey Kelli Rae!
Well I still don’t know
Why you put me in my grave
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3. |
Record Store Guy Eats It
03:57
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Well she told me her name was Kelli Jo
And there wasn't a single song she didn't know
She loved her vinyl, she loved her 80's glam
I was delighted to find there was no ring on her hand
Lovely Kelli Jo
Lovely Kelli
Where did you come from?
When she came walking right into my record store
My feet would tingle, my heard would soar
One day I gave her a T-Rex Limited Edition
Was I in love? Or just ignoring my intuition
Lovely Kelli Jo
Lovely Kelli
Where did you come from?
Dinner at her place, come around about five
How could I know that by 5:30
I would no longer be alive?
I stopped the album
As she was pouring the wine
That was a problem
I should have noticed the signs
"What have you done?!"
She said to me by the door
She held a record to my throat
My head rolled across the floor
Deadly Kelli Jo
Deadly Kelli
Where did you come from?
Well, I'm sorry, Kelli Jo
What can I say?
She said, "Kelli Jo ain't here,
My name is Kelli Rae!"
Lovely Kelli Jo
Deadly Kelli Rae
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4. |
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The doctors say
It was Kelli Rae
Who took your head that day
It was not me
And I confess
I was not at my best
When I laid you to rest
And set you free
Kelli's on the lam
Kelli's on the run
She joined a cloister
Of murdering nuns
I got a postcard
The other day
Said, "Love and kisses,
Signed Kelli Rae"
"If someone asks
Just say I'm dead
I'm drinking my gin
And cutting heads"
Kelli's on the lam
Kelli's on the run
She joined a cloister
Of murdering nuns
"I hate to leave you
But I had to go
The cops are looking
Both high and low
But just for you
Here's a secret code:
M-E-J-I-C-O
Me Hee Coh!"
Kelli's on the lam
Kelli's on the run
She joined a cloister
Of murdering nuns
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5. |
New Girl In Town
01:50
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Quiet, please, ladies
Gather round
Won't you welcome Sister Kelli Rae
And show her around
She's really rather lovely
Quick to learn
She's here to lend a hand
And she's got money to burn
Well there's a new girl in town
Yes there's a new girl in town
Infiltrate the convent
Make it our own
Grab the special cargo
Bring it on home
Take a plane to nowhere
Disappear
Happy ever after
Free and clear
Well there's a new girl in town
Yes there's a new girl in town
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6. |
Sky High (for Jesus)
04:24
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My connection
Sent me down this way
I know the password
I know where not to play
A secret door opens
And as I saunter in
The Devil looks up at me
And judging by his grin, I'm in the right place
We're getting sky high for Jesus
We're getting sky high for the Lord
We're getting sky high for Jesus
Cuz I'm sky high, right out of my gourd
Something about a seaplane
And a special kind of fun
Some quick, easy millions
And dressing up like nuns
Infiltrate the convent
Take it for our own
Lift that special cargo
And take it right back home
Take a big, deep breath
Make that special sound
We'll be sisters to the death
As we pass the bowl around
We're lighting up the engines
And not a ship in sight
We're lighting up to execute
And pray we get it right
We're getting sky high for Jesus
We're getting sky high for the Lord
We're getting sky high for Jesus
Cuz I'm sky high, right out of my gourd
We set our hair own fire
We're lighting up the night
Take up the slack; no turning back
No purple hearts tonight
Out-of-fashion ammo belt
Is this the way that grandma felt?
Did she mistake the dream for real
While hefting that cold shotgun steel?
We're getting sky high for Jesus
We're getting sky high for the Lord
We're getting sky high for Jesus
Cuz I'm sky high, right out of my gourd
I lost my head over this record
I lost my heart for this song
I lost my way looking for adventure
And now I'm here where I don't belong
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7. |
You Prayed The Wrong Way
02:57
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She said, "You were a nun
For 55 years
You should know by now
I'm all out of tears
You told me that you would pray for me
That's what you said
How could you let me down like this?
I'm still in this bed
I don't know what you mean
Been praying' night and day
And since i'm sittin' here talking with you
I'd say it's working okay
That's the problem
You prayed the wrong way
That's the problem
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8. |
The Flying Nun
03:56
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Kelli Jo went to heaven
Kelli Rae went to hell
Birth certificate simply said two words:
Kelli Michelle
You know she pulled the ripcord
But her 'chute did not deploy
"Every single time this happens,
It really tends to annoy"
She reached into her pocket
Pulled out the habit of a nun
"If I'm going out without a doubt
I might as well have some fun"
Some say that she was crazy
Others argue she was sane
I know that she was laughing
As she jumped out of that plane
She hated to leave her whiskey
All her guns and cocaine
Now all that's left of her cloister
Is her memory going down in flames
Kelly Jo went to heaven
Kelli Rae went to hell
My only regret is that I never met
Kelli Michelle
Kelli Jo went to heaven
Kelli Rae went to hell
Birth certificate simply said two words
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9. |
Return Of The Flying Nun
06:34
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